


Not All Cans

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, HSWC 2014, friendship all around woohoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1695257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi convinces The Mayor to let her assemble a judiciary board for Can Town, then takes the liberty of building her own courtblock and creating a justice system similar to the one on Alternia. Then Dave steps in and tries to educate her on Can's Rights, causing her to rethink her priorities.</p><p>---</p><p>Fill for the HSWC Bonus Round 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not All Cans

**Author's Note:**

> finally finished another fill for the HSWC Bonus Round 1, whew.
> 
> it's not really shippy just cute friend fluff
> 
> fill for this prompt: http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/18819.html?thread=3696771#cmt3696771

When someone creates something, it invokes a sense of pride in them. No matter the circumstances under which it was conceived, its creator cannot help but feel accomplished, an _I made this_ sort of feeling.

That is how you feel right now. A swath of hilly green land sprawls out before you, dotted with trees and layered with organized and bustling roads. Small buildings are lined up in an orderly fashion, packed with well-fed, happy citizens led by an even happier mayor. All is well. And you, Terezi Pyrope, helped build this. At first, you're content with your work, and sit back to admire it.

Then, after another minute or so of analysis, you shake your head and decide that it's not good enough. Can Town is missing _something_ , a necessary part of any successful and peaceful town. How could you of all people have possibly overlooked it? 

You bring it up with The Mayor immediately. "You know what this town needs, Mayor?"

He turns to look at you attentively, momentarily setting down the cans he was playing with. 

"It needs balance," you continue, straightening up importantly. "It needs law and order... it needs a way to keep the peace and weed out the bad from the good!" You slam your fist down onto your palm. "It needs _justice_!"

The Mayor tilts his head at you, confused as to where you're going with this.

You get straight to the point. "Mayor, I'm going to need your permission to build a courtblock and assemble a judiciary board for Can Town."

He seems to consider it, surveying the citizen cans and the cans that have been used to make buildings already. Then he glances back at you and shrugs, which you gleefully interpret as acceptance of your proposal. 

"Excellent! And I've got just the ones for the job," you declare, jumping to your feet and scurrying off to your respiteblock. 

\---

About an hour and a few piles of scalemates later, you've sketched a crude replica of an Alternian courtblock in an empty section of the room using several of your most colorful pieces of chalk. It's similar to the one you had in your hive on Alternia, complete with a poorly drawn rendition of His Honorable Tyranny in red chalk on the wall. You walk up and down the rows of colorful plush dragons that you've assigned as members of the jury, tapping your cane and eyeing your work with an air of pride. Yes, this is what Can Town truly needed; the missing piece of a now complete puzzle.

The Mayor asks you why it took up so much space.

"Why, because a stable law system is the most important part of any functional town, Mayor!"

Your assurance is met with a blank stare. 

You sigh and begin trying to explain your logic in a way that those not well-versed in law can understand better. "All right, picture this: it's an ordinary, peaceful day in Can Town." You continue to pace your makeshift courtblock, waving your cane in the air as you speak. "The citizens are going about their business as they usually do, and everything's just _peachy_... Until, out of nowhere-!" Unsheathing your blade, you whirl and pierce the soft stomach of a stray scalemate with it, then hold it up for him to see. "A body has been discovered! There's been a murder, and that means a killer is afoot!"

The Mayor gasps, his eyes widening in horror.

"That is why," you affirm, plucking the scalemate corpse off of your blade and grasping it, "we need a system in place to discourage things like that from happening. We need a team of trained elites to get on the case, look for clues and identify the criminal! Then, the jury can give their verdict and sentence the perpetrator of such a heinous crime to death!" You pull a noose from your sylladex, looping it around the neck of the already-dead scalemate and tightening it, a shark-toothed grin on your face all the while.

"Dammit, Tez, are you scaring The Mayor with your morbid sense of humor and complete lack of personal space again?" 

You turn to the source of the voice with an indignant huff. "I was just showing him how Can Town's law system is going to work. What, did you want to volunteer to help me demonstrate?" 

Dave glances down at The Mayor, who rapidly shakes his head from side to side. "Uh, I'm gonna have to say no to that one," he replies, turning back to you. 

You shrug indifferently, tossing the scalemate aside and sheathing your blade again. "Your loss."

He frowns. "Listen, Tez, I'm sure you've got great intentions here and all, but... well, The Mayor looks like he's about to piss his pants." Then he pauses thoughtfully. "Wait, no, he doesn't wear pants. His..." Trailing off, he takes a little corner of The Mayor's clothing between his fingers to feel it. "Dude, what even are you wearing? Are those... are those supposed to be little ghosts on the pattern? Holy fuck." Shaking his head, Dave retracts his hand. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm getting off-topic here. The point is, your freaky alien death sentences are freaking the little guy out. You know he's sensitive to that kind of bullshit." 

Then he looks at the scalemate with the noose around its neck and adds, "And were you seriously planning on hanging the criminals? I mean, they're cans. They don't even have necks!"

"Details, details," you scoff, waving his concerns aside. "I could always just use my cane, instead. It's plenty sharp, I'm sure it could slice through metal."

Dave feigns an appalled expression, reaching to cover wherever he assumes The Mayor's ears are. "Or," he suggests, "we could just not execute them at all? Maybe just, I dunno, incarcerate them or something?"

"But we don't even have a prison."

"We can build a prison. How many spare cans do we have, Mayor?"

The Mayor turns to sweep his gaze over the room, then begins to count on his fingers. 

"Dave, they are _cans_ ," you protest. 

"Yeah, so? What, you think that makes their pain any less real than ours? That just because their bodies are metal, and filled with food, it's okay to take their lives in cold blood? Now _that_ is an injustice. Shame on you, Terezi, I thought you were better than that." He shakes his head, faking disgust.

You roll your eyes, then inform him, "I'm rolling my eyes, Dave."

"Not all cans are murderers, Terezi. Don't generalize cans, it's not fair. You'll hurt their feelings." 

You're not even sure what that means, but you've learned by now that most of what comes out of Dave's mouth doesn't make any sense. You sigh, disappointed. "Can I at least execute them if I eat whatever's inside, then recycle their body to make more buildings?" 

"Only if you give them a fair trial first," he says firmly, crossing his arms. "Right, Mayor?" 

The Mayor glances up from the group of "volunteer" citizen cans he was collecting to build a penitentiary with and nods.

"You two are too soft," you complain, turning to go preside over your masterfully constructed courtblock. They're busy having fun, and you're busy remembering the days you'd spend conducting investigations and fabricating enthralling courtblock dramas. Overcome with nostalgia, you take your loyal assistant Pyralspite out from your sylladex and hug him close. His advice is always valuable, especially in these trying times.

You're unable to tell the others that you're a hypocrite; if all murderers were executed, you'd be among them.

**Author's Note:**

> haha i don't know what happened it was supposed to just be a cute silly thing but then it got angsty i'm sorry
> 
> good job to those of you who caught the dangan ronpa and anti-mra references i'm proud of u


End file.
